Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
