Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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