just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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