i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Randomize
