ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
false alarm. still invincible.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
