As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize