something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
