You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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