16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
