Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize