i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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