He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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