was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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