are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize