Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
