I want to have your abortion
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
