it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize