1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
It's Friday. Sex?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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