What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
