If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
How naked do you want me to be?
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