he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
