she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize