well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
