ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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