my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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