Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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