just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
