I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
