Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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