I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Randomize
