is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
