Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I want a musical about memes.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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