How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
