fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Randomize
