The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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