i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
