Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You can't motorboat a personality
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
