Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
