what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
