I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
