Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
