bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
