I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
