I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
