It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
