you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I take back everything I said about communal showers
did i walk over a car last night?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
