white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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