i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
