Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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