What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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