I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
