i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize