I just made out with a guy for $7.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
