well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
