Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
