I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Farmville is her only friend.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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