i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
