Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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