I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize