Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
