YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
