But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
