I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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