I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
