Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
