Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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