I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
